Bibek Roy

In today’s world Emotional Intelligence (EI), is a different way of being smart.

In today's fast-paced and chaotic world, cultivating #emotional self-control is more crucial than ever. Amidst the constant barrage of stimuli and stressors, mastering our emotions empowers us to navigate life's challenges with clarity, resilience, and grace.

This is most sought after competency in today's corporate leadership positions, individuals going through stressful life, stressed relationships and most importantly building a positive aura around your personality.

Here are some key strategies to create emotional self-control in a chaotic world:

There are 5 – parts of Self-Management competencies:

  • Emotional Self-awareness
  • Emotional self-control
  • Positive outlook
  • Achievement orientation
  • Adaptability

Emotional self-control, is a part of Emotional Self-Management, when practiced will benefit individuals/ leaders, to:

  • Control & manage disruptive emotions.
  • Control & manage disruptive impulses.
  • Keeping self-control under stressful situations/events.
  • Keeping self-control under hostile conditions.
  • Able to be staying Clear-headed and calm.

(Emotional Self-Control - Image source Pexels)

Emotional self-control is also most important competency in leadership positions.

It is essential to recognize your feelings and inner signals, that affects our behavior. This is called Self-Awareness.

Self-Management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions to actively choose what you say and do.

Self-management is much more that simply taking deep breathing and keeping yourself cool under adverse situation.

If you look deeply your inside, you will be astonished that your eruptions are no different from a volcano.

At times, this inner volcano may remain dormant, its energies lying relatively still beneath the surface of consciousness.

During such periods, individuals may experience a sense of equilibrium and stability, managing their emotions and actions with relative ease.

 However, like a volcano, this inner landscape is subject to change, influenced by internal and external factors that can trigger eruptions of emotion and turmoil.

When activated, the volcano within a person can manifest in various ways, from minor tremors of stress or anxiety to full-blown eruptions of anger or frustration.

(Volcano - image source Pexels)

Without proper self-management, these eruptions can wreak havoc on one's well-being and relationships, causing damage and destruction in their wake.

Hence for effective self-management, it is necessary that you must be aware of your emotions, so that you can choose how to respond to an emotion actively.

Moreover, like volcanic activity that can shape the landscape over time, the process of self-management can lead to profound personal transformation.

If you don’t try to understand your feeling, then you will be frequent victim of Emotional Hijacking.

(I shall discuss about Emotional Hijacking in a separate blog/video).

In this condition your emotions will control you and you will be reacting to your feelings with little choice in what you do or say !!

However, don’t be disheartened!!

Using the following strategies, you can control as well as manage your emotions successfully.


There are several strategies for emotional self-control and emotional self-management.

Here I shall discuss two most powerful strategies, which will produce immediate results:

  1. Create a list of Emotions Vs Reasons:

This is the most effective way to bring your reactions emanating from your emotional turmoil under control.

At times, you can realize that you are allowing your emotions to pull you in one direction and on the other hand your rational mind is trying to pull you in another direction!! And you are feeling helpless sometimes.

In order to come out of this situation, just take a paper and pen and draw two columns.

At the right-side jot down all actions your emotions are telling you to do.

At the left side jot down all the actions your reason is telling you to do.

After you have done the above, now ask following questions to yourself:

When your emotions are engulfing your judgement?


When is your reason ignoring important clues from your emotions?

Now if you ignore above questions, then your emotions will be creating problems.

Because you are allowing your emotions to lead you without any reason!! Yes, this is fact!!

In another way, if you allow your rational thoughts to act without feeling, then you will be acting like a robot.

So, next time when you have adverse emotional situation or stressful situation, immediately do this Reason Vs Emotion exercise.

And you will find strong ray of light at the end of your adverse emotional tunnel.

2. Practice breathing in correct way:

The average man weighs 70 kg and consumes approx.250 ml of Oxygen per minute in the resting state.

With the average human brain weighing 1400 g (approx.2% of total body weight), it consumes approx.49 ml oxygen per minute, or 20% of total body oxygen consumed.

Once you know the above fact, then you will be immediately conscious about proper breathing technique.

Your brain uses this oxygen for doing basic functions as well as complex functions like keeping you alert, focused, calm etc.

Shallow breathing supplies lesser oxygen to your brain. This leads to poor concentration, forgetfulness, depression, restlessness etc.

Hence shallow breathing snaps your energy and your self-management will be poor.

Hence start slow deep breathing right now, while you read this article.

  • Start slow deep breathing. Feel that your stomach swells outward.
  • Now exhale gently and completely preferably through your mouth. Make sure that you have completely emptied your lungs.
  • Repeat this this process for at least 2 minutes.
  • In a day, do this deep breathing at least three times.

              If you want to make sure that you are doing correct deep breathing, test this process.

           Place one hand on your stomach and the other hand on the bone located at the center of your


Now take a deep breath and exhale.

While exhaling, if you see that your hand on your stomach moving more than the hand on your chest middle bone, then you are inflating your lungs fully and getting enough oxygen.

(Deep Breathing exercise-Image source

Finally, remember, emotional self-control is not about suppressing emotions but rather about understanding, acknowledging, and channeling them in constructive ways.

Embrace the process with openness and curiosity, knowing that each step brings you closer to greater emotional balance and well-being amidst life's chaos.

Bibek Roy
An experienced power plant professional having more than 34 years of experience in India & abroad. Certified Lead auditor for QMS, EHSMS. Certifed Energy auditor from BEE. A trainer, coach and auditor. An evangelist for sustainability.


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  1. Thanks for sending. Iam also have a touch with Enlighten mind which is organised by my cousin brother from Muscat every Saturday from 9-30 AM to 11-30 AM. Actually this type of lesson we never heard in our childhood. It is now in our age is very helpful to overcome from any bad situation. once again thanks again.

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